the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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