They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
