Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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