Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
