so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
