I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize