saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
