so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
