dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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