Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
