she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
