We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I am midnight drunk by noon
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
