We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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