school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
