dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Is her dick bigger than yours?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
