I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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