Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
