does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
