I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize