I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
