I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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