I have demons in me.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize