We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
