So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Are my feet made of real feet?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
