hotel room ftw
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
