The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize