Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize