At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
