Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
