You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
