She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Life is so much better after having sex.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
