the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize