dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Randomize
