Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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