You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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