watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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