Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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