He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
