hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
