Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Your dad touched me again.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
