There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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