singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
It's rum buckets o'clock
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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