I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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