i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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