Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
