It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
