I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
