I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize