having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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