what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
