My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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