you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
