i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
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Hippo gnu deer
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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