Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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