I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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