I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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