when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
