wrigley field is MILF paradise
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
