I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
