I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
