I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
