At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
