Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize