no, he came in my armpit
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
