too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
