if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
