i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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