Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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