yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
