I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
