small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
As shirtless as possible
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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